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And I think the crazy may have finally settled down.

Tuesday – I opted to skip my choir rehearsal and instead go to an impromptu Cleveland Cavs game – which was a freaking blast. My mom, sister, her husband, and his brother got 4 seats in a row, and me and Adam got 2 seats behind them (are you getting all this? There will be a quiz later.) so it really couldn’t have worked out better. The atmosphere was great  apart from the drunk guy in the row above me somehow falling down into my row and onto me, and spilling beer on everyone in his vicinity, including me and my entire family. Eua de Beer would not have been my perfume of choice, but what can ya do. We won (yay) and I got to see Lebron James dunk in a playoff games with my very own eyeballs. 

 

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Wednesday – Went for a run with my girl Em, then, as promised, practiced my choir part and had a mini panic attack that I would have to stand out in front of a lot of people. STAGE FRIGHT: ACTIVATED. See, this is why I like choirs: I can sing in front of a crowd but there’s no real pressure. I am just one of many. Except this time – where I have to stand out with 6 other girls and people will be looking at me, noooooo.

Thursday: Dress rehearsal. For 4.5 hours. I mean sweet hay-Zeus, it is difficult to do a full 8 hour work day, then immediately hit dress rehearsal for that long. Thank God there were approximately 18 trillion cookies brought in for all the guest choirs singing with us, because my blood sugar and I were not getting through that day without some sort of sustenance.

Friday: Concert day! And it went really well! I had to leave straight after work (again) for the pre-show rehearsal and let me tell you, I was running on steam at this point. You know that Broadway performers will perform 8 days a week? HOW. (I just think about how Roger Bart starred in Young Frankenstein and was only off stage for 10 minutes. HOWWWW.) My descant went well overall – except that I saw a video and I am super stiff. (STAGE FRIGHT ACTIVATION: COMPLETED AND LOGGED.) But here’s the thing… my first concert, I was super nervous just to be on stage. Now I’m totally fine on stage, but nervous for stuff like the descant. Maybe next time if I do a descant, it will be better. I remember a teacher telling me: the trick is learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Ah, from the mouths of ex-professors.

Allow me to slather my blog with cheese for a moment, and talk about the best part of that evening. We sang with a full orchestra, and 6 other choirs, ranging from elderly church choirs to children’s choirs – all equally adorable. After the concert, our choir director sent us an e-mail saying good job and what not, and…shared with us what one of the high school choir’s directors said:

…Several of my students called it “the best musical experience of their life.” It was a thrill for them to sing with an orchestra and I hope that we can collaborate again soon in the future! The Requiem left a huge impression on them and they are begging me to plan more field trips to hear larger works with orchestras.

I mean… you guys. I was bitching all week about how much work it all was but that email made it all worth it. I sing in this choir for a few reasons: 1) I love to sing. It’s kind of selfish, but I like to sing, I think my voice is alright, and it gives me a way to get in front of an audience without having a complete nervous break down. 2) There’s something kind of ethereal about mixing voices with a room full of people. I dunno, it’s weird, but I love it. 3) Probably the most important to me is the community aspect of it. Youngstown can be viewed as kind of run down and ghetto, but I think it’s beautiful and if I can be a small part of keeping music and culture in the city, then I’m happy. And that email helped me feel like I did my part.

 

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The weekend was pretty chill in comparison. Saturday I went to a Chinese auction thingy that raised money for doggy and kitty oxygen masks for our firefighters because apparently our city has none ( 🙁 ) and Sunday I visited my sister and her husband with a few friends. I got to watch a laughing toddler run around with 2 miniature poodles, so I think that’s all I need to say about that.

(And of course, as I’m finishing up this post, I get a message from Adam detailing our itinerary for my next few weeks. So much for things getting settled down.)

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…and mostly because I just want everyone to be happy *sob*

I am part of a community choir, and our big concert is coming up this Friday. To add to the normal about of stage-fright induced anxiety, I am part of a descant so I need to make sure that my part is on point before I sing in front of hundreds of people. Luckily, we have practice tomorrow, Thursday and Friday.

Except… I was invited to the Cavs game tomorrow. The playoffs. OF A CLEVELAND SPORTS TEAM. WITH LEBRON JAMES PLAYING. It should be noted that until about 9 months ago, I could not give 2 shits about any type of sports. I mean, I’ve always rooted for all Cleveland sports teams but couldn’t care enough to learn anything about it, ya know? Then I realized that my love for all things drama and hype matches perfectly with the sports world. (I mean… Manziel. Come on.) So I’ve been a bit obsessed ever since. We just watched 30 for 30: Believeland yesterday and I about died. So this couldn’t have come at a better time.

But… my concert. And also, Adam is another huge Cleveland sports fan and I felt really bad going without him. ALSO IT’S SO EXPENSIVE. So do I go? Do I go without Adam? Would he be upset? Can we afford it? Should I be committed to my choral duties? Does it really matter? Does anything really matter?

In the end, we just bought our own (absurdly expensive) tickets the row behind them. I will email our choir director to say I have an important family event coming up that I can’t miss, but I will religiously practice my part on Wednesday before our dress rehearsal. So it seems to have all worked out – particularly now that my 4 hour decision-making-induced headache went away.

IN CONCLUSION: !!!

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It’s been a while. Again.

Full disclosure here: I’m an Interest Jumper. For a few months I’ll be obsessed with blogging, then for a few months I’ll be obsessed with writing, then working out, then drawing, then reading, blah blah blah. Other times all I want to do is lay on my couch and watch The Real Housewives of New York to the point of going into a mental coma. All these things have their place in my life.

But when I ask myself, if I could be rich and famous off of one thing I truly love, what would it be? Writing. I love to write. I don’t even know if I’m a good writer, but I love to do it. Letting the words flow from my brain to my fingertips and rearranging those words in just the perfect way gives me such satisfaction. And yet while I say that, I’ll still go months avoiding this site like it’s a Facebook invitation for one of those pyramid scheme parties.

I think the main problem is that a part of me wants this blog to be ~*The Best Blog Ever*~ by having awesome graphics and the perfect content that millions of people will share and it will put some of my favorite blogs to shame, SHAME I TELL YOU. But that’s just not going to happen simply because, with all my other hobbies, I just don’t have the brain space for it. So I think “eh, if it can’t be good then why do it at all?” Then I’ll stupidly give up and later on miss it so I come back and try to figure out why I do this to myself. Thank God I don’t treat my IRL relationships this way because me and blogging would need some serious couple’s counseling.

I think the conclusion here is I need to stop taking this so seriously. I created this place for it – it’s designed and organized in the perfect way for me, and now I just need to settle in and enjoy it. I don’t want this to be like when I play The Sims and have so much fun designing the house, that by the time the family moves in, I’m too tired to hilariously destroy their lives. What happens inside the perfectly designed house is what really matters – especially if it’s not perfect.

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I can only assume this post is going to be huge but that’s okay because COMIC CON.

I didn’t follow too much of it as it was happening, but of course I caught sightings of some seriously awesome stuff. Today, I finally sat down and watched all the trailers I cared about and my word am I excited. First and foremost:

HANNIBAL

Yeah yeah, NBC moved Hannibal to Saturdays because, much like Hannibal himself,  it’s not enough that they had to kill it, they had to kill it AGAIN. I’m understanding how Will felt.

Anyway, the trailer was definitely more spoiler-heavy than anticipated, but it’s not any of the things you don’t already know happens. It’s just surprising to see it happening so quickly (which I guess I should be thankful for, considering it’s ending. 🙁 .)  I really love Richard Armitage. I mean, he plays a prideful grim dwarf very well so I can only assume he’d play a great serial killing psycho. Same thing, right? And Zachary Quinto seems to be a good neurotic patient who doesn’t trust Bedelia. Which…may be good intuition on his part? At this point, I’m just mad I have to wait an extra 2 days to see what happens next.

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

Apparently “spy-fi” is a genre? Anyway, um, I love Armie Hammer, so that’s why I want to see this. I’ve never heard of the Man From U.N.C.L.E before, didn’t know it was a TV show, and wouldn’t have cared about the movie if it wasn’t for Armie Hammer + Comic Con buzz. However, the trailer looks freaking awesome. It may not be a see-in-theaters kind of movie, but I’d definitely like to see it at some point.

SUICIDE SQUAD

Sometimes, trailers can stand alone as a work of art separate from the movie, and this is one of those trailers. The music, the clips, the lines, the story – it was SO well done that I was just gaping at my computer screen while it was on. I am so down for this movie. I know people were a little skeptical of Jared Leto as The Joker, but me and Adam were talking about it: if you saw an image of Heath Ledger without the context of his performance, he would be “eh” too. With a character like this, it’s all about the performance. Of course, some people are unsure of the tattooed rocker Joker, but I always enjoy innovative versions of things, as long as they’re done well.

Also, much like how I want to see The Man From U.N.C.L.E. for Armie Hammer, I want to see this movie for Margot Robbie. She just looks so awesome and fucked up that I can’t help but be intrigued.

BATMAN VS SUPERMAN

Okay, so people are losing their shit over this trailer. I am not immensely invested in this as much as some people, but I am totally along for the ride and will be seeing this. I like what they’re doing with Superman – giving him the challenges of the pressure of being seen as the second coming of Jesus. I mean, yeah, talk about pressure. Also, that logo reveal is where it’s at.

COSPLAY

Ah, my favorite part of Comic Cons. Here’s a gallery of some of my favorites:

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The toenail being dead is not from white water rafting, but from soccer practice. As my mom told me, ‘Stop doing this dangerous shit!”

Let’s take a stroll into the past, to ~Wednesday~. It was my first official soccer practice of the season and I was PUMPED. Soccer is by far my favorite sport to watch AND play. I’ve played co-ed since I was maybe 10 or 11 up to high school, but after that, I had to take a break because I was no where near good enough for college level, not that my college even had a soccer team (it does, however, have a Harry Potter club.)  But fortunately I have finally found another co-ed adult rec league that I’ve been in for 2 years. The season just started last week and I was so excited to begin playing that the second I got on the field I felt like a dog without a leash. I was defense but I was all up in people’s grills, trying to use fancy footwork to get the ball away from them, hoping to confuse people with this small little ninja chick sprinting up to full grown men-folk and not letting them get away. But there was once instance where it, um, didn’t work the way I had planned.

I inadvertently had my foot between the ball and another player. Said player attempted to kick the ball, and in the process, kicked/dragged his cleat spikes directly onto my big toe. That hurt. When I got home, I was bleeding from under and the sides of the nail, but overall it seemed okay. You know, considering.

CUT TO SUNDAY.

White water rafting day! The toe had been fine, except for the fact that it turned completely gray. Oh, you know, that. But it didn’t hurt, I could walk on it, it wasn’t loose. So I’m like “eehhhhh it’s fine.”

I had never been white water rafting. I have, however, been tubing, where you lazily sit in a tube and gently float 3 miles down a river with group of friends, a cooler filled with booze with it’s own inter tube, and all the rafts connected with a rope that had liquid-pouch-bottles filled with “special drink”, hanging on by a caribbeaner so you could slide it back forth. It was truly white trash heaven and I was all about it.

This rafting trip, however, was legit class III – IV rapids with helmets and lifejackets and paddles and ADVENTURE. It was me, Adam and five other friends, plus our guide Cliff, whose faced matched his name. Not that his face looked like a precipice, but he had red hair and a big beard and was kind of husky and I don’t know, he just looked like Cliff.

It was SO MUCH FUN. We careened down the rapids, we got to big “pools” where we could jump into the freezing water and float around, then get heaved back into the raft by our life vests. Adam was allowed to ride the bow of the raft through the rapids, called “Riding the bull” and he fell in, but we got him pretty quickly. Then another girl fell in just because the rapids were crazy. omg it was so fun though.

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The first two people on the left are Adam and I. Guess which is which. Also, I’m fairly certain Cliff was a pirate in a past life.

So, back to the toe: if you’ve never gone rafting, basically all of you sit on the edge of the raft, and in the middle there are inflatable footholds that go across the raft. This is where you jam your feet in so you don’t fly out. Unfortunately, I was on the side where I had to jam my grayed-out-toenail under the foothold and it didn’t hurt at the time, but afterwards it was not good.

Squick alert, avoid this paragraph: Yesterday, I called my mom because it had turned even more gray and was oozing stuff and it was generally not good. Also, it hurt like a MOFO. So I took some ibuprofen, cleaned it, put hydrogen peroxide on it, and soaked it and it felt immediately better. She did say I might lose the toenail, but it’s not loose so I think we might be good. This is not unlike the time I was pretending to be a ninja and stubbed my toe on my own shoe, but that time the toenail turned black because of the blood underneath. I didn’t lose it then either. I don’t know, man.

My mom suggested I take over my leftover antibiotics. Why do I have leftover antibiotics? Because when I got tested for mono, it originally said it was negative so they gave me antibiotics that causes a rash in people with mono. Happily, they called me before I took it, but not before I already picked them up. So yay, extra medication. Today it seems to be fine, but I may have to skip soccer to be on the safe side, 🙁 , woe is me, etc.

I mean, worth it, but still.

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Damn it, I am behind.

In other horrible news, Netflix and Amazon passed on Hannibal. Also, the casts’ contracts have expired. Yeah, things are looking bleak for this show. Bryan Fuller seems to have a never ending supply of optimism though and I will blindly follow him, probably off a cliff. But, for now, let’s talk about the awesomeness of this season. And since I’m so behind, let’s make this a 2-for-1 special.

Hannibal 3:3 “Secondo”

“Nothing happened to me. I happened”

Man, do I love me a good villain line. Like, even Hannibal himself is like “no no no, I’m not a sad antihero. I’m a menace, a god, and I am superior to all of you so I will fuck up all ya’llz lives.” Like, the dude even grew up a CASTLE straight out of a Bram Stoker novel. And there is Will, wandering around the castle, having a nice little picnic there in Lectervania. So…what exactly is he doing there? It seems he’s trying to find a clue to understand the deep, dark workings of Hannibal, and possibly in the same way, on a journey of self discovery. How similar are they, really? Well, quite, as it turns out, because he ends up turning a dead dude into a firefly.

Speaking of, uh, that, I’m not sure what to think about Chiyo. She’s a bit of an enigma – who is she, where did she come from, how does she know Lecter, does she have access to a pizza delivery service or does she have to live off the land,etc. What I do know is thatshe could kill me, if she wanted to, as we saw with Will. But she doesn’t want to kill, and she wants to prove that to Lecter for some reason. Maybe to prove that she isn’t like him at all. And she doesn’t kill for a very long time. That is, of course, until Lecter Jr. comes along and forces her hand, much like Lecter Sr. did with Bedelia and the unfortunate skewered-brained man. She doesn’t want to kill him so bad that she even lets out a clear as day “I’m sorry” before she saves her own life.

Soooo…Will is probably less “quite like Hannibal” and more “IS BECOMING Hannibal.”

Also, I really miss Zeller and Price. plz come back. And also Beverly but we won’t go there. But at least we got.. JACK ATTACK. And by attack I mean meander in slowly as if the world has chewed him up and spit him out. But he has a cool hat and that’s all that matters.

Also, the third episode being titled “Secondo,” and not the second episode, is confusing and unfair to my brain.

Hannibal 3:4 “Apertivo”

FINALLY we see what Jack, Alana, and Chilton else is up, and thankfully, they’re mostly up to not being dead. Except Bella. Bella dead. :(.

“A mutually unspoken pact to ignore the worst in each other to continue to enjoy the best.” Will, get your shit together, this ain’t good for you. Though I have to admit I am mightily fascinated with Will’s and Hannibal’s relationship. It almost seems like an abusive relationship of some sort. I know I’ve been the Alana in situations, where I’m looking at someone and saying “Don’t you see? After everything they’ve done to you?” But at a certain point, it doesn’t matter what I, or Alana, says. Will (along with Abighost) will figure it out on his own and I can only assume it won’t be pretty.

Okay, I hate Chilton but I LOVE Raul Esparza so I am very happy to see he’s back. Sometimes, I just see certain actors and I’m like “You. I like you.” And he was one of them. And when I found out that he was a Broadway actor, it confirmed by belief that he is the shit. But a piece of shit in the show. I mean, copyrighting Hannibal the Cannibal because of course he did.

The scene with Mason and Chilton “showing each other” their disfigurements is pretty horrifying, but I’m glad they did it. Here’s why: I love me some Phantom of the Opera, but in the 2004 movie (that I was obsessed with, mind you) they really should have made his disfigurement more than like, a sunburn. So I’m glad to see a show actually show you what real disfigurement is, and how it can get fixed, sort of, to an certain extent, with graphs and prosthetics, but it takes a lot of time to get there and it’s not a pretty process.

Also, Alana makes me sad. She’s just so different. Obviously, she’s been through a lot, and she seems dead set on revenge more than anything else, even if it means going to Mason Verger of all people.  Seriously, these characters need to get better at finding people to help them. Also, Bryan Fuller has agreed with some fans that he thinks that Alana and Margot should get together. Bryan Fuller does enjoy giving the fans what they want, and the barn scene did seem a little flirtatious, sooooo… we shall see!

Also, Hannibal is getting very cocky and, as a wise Gandalf once said, “Pride will be your downfall.”

Best AV Club comment: “Oh God, he’s sad on a plane, sad on a boat, sad on a train. This is the worst Dr. Seuss I’ve ever seen.”

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Well it has been quite a while, hasn’t it.

I am so behind on the stuff I wanted to write about. Life just keeps happening. Which, uh, is probably something I shouldn’t complain about. But here’s a compromise: I will use this post as a brief update of all the things that have happened, and then perhaps I will elaborate later. Yes, I’m aware this is something I always say then never do. It’s fine. It will be FINE.

First of all, Florida was AMAZING. There was beach and ocean and sunshine and JET SKIS just like I had planned. We…may now be looking to buy a jet ski. Not that we have a wedding or house to save up for or anything. Oh, also there was a girl in the room next to us who had a literal psychotic breakdown because her boyfriend cheated on her and the cops were called. Other than that, it was a perfect relaxy type of vacation where we mostly laid on the beach and drank wine. And ate a lot. A lot. Especially these guys. The 4 of us literally ate through 4 bags of them, omg, I just realized that’s a bag of person, but it doesn’t  even matter because they’re so GOOD. Also, while I was down there, it very much inspired me to write more because I have a story bouncing around in my head that takes place on an island, so hopefully I’ll GET ON MY ASS AND WRITE MORE.

I have 2 Hannibal episodes to Sort Of Review so I may just do a 2-episode post to make my life easier. I will say, though, that this season is BEAUTIFUL and also, I had a dream that Richard Armitage and I were in love. I…may be excited about this Red Dragon stuff coming up.

While on vacation, BOOKS. I finished up Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson and my God that book is hilarious. It is really, really difficult for me to find words funny unless they’re making fun of something or in caps lock, but this book doesn’t’ really do either of those things and was still cracking my shit up. If you think you’re a lesser person because you’re weird, please read this because it will make you feel good about being a weirdo. Once I finished that, I started Howls’ Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones, which I love so far but I still got about 25% to go.

Um…I started playing Farming Simulator 2015. Look, I don’t need judgement, but I have been itching to play this game for months and I finally just caved and spent 30 damn dollars on it and I LOVE IT. It’s like Harvest Moon but without the joyful festivals and love and happiness and human interaction – it’s just cold, hard farming. But it’s very informative and exactly the kind of task-based games that I get mightily addicted to. For example, we were driving through farmlands yesterday and all I could think was “YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SPRAY YOUR CROPS SO YOU CAN HAVE A MORE BOUNTIFUL HARVEST SO YOU CAN INVEST IN BETTER MACHINESSS.”

Also, lots of fitness news! In light of US WINNING THE WOMEN’S WORLD CUP LAST NIGHT (wooooo!! USA! USA! USA!) I should mention that I LOVE playing soccer and our rec team is starting up next week! By that I mean, our first game is next week and I haven’t practiced in a year. So this week the boy and I are going to practice like, every day. I bought new socks and an agility ladder that I can’t wait to stumble over. I’ll be pairing this training with a new program I started called Strong Curves by Bret Contreras, who is very obsessed with glute workouts which is good for me because I have no ass and I want one. I started it on Saturday and it seems pretty good so we’ll see how it goes!

Also, Reddit imploded and it was hilarious. It’s been a great couple of weeks, guys.

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I come to you during my Florida trip because I feel it is obligated to puke rainbows all over my site, in celebration of GAY MARRIAGE FINALLY BEING LEGALIZED. I have been rooting for this since I was old enough to know that is was an issue, I have gay friends and trans family members and I support all of them 100%. So, as promised, here is some rainbow spam:

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Congrats to all of those who can marry now! <3

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…so I didn’t post over the weekend or yesterday and I probably really should have because now I have a ton of things to post about and I’ll be across the country. Tonight. For over a week. Yeah, I’m sure this will go well.

I’ll try to write while I’m down there, but let’s be honest, there will be beach and ocean and sunshine and JET SKIS so I can’t promise I’ll be inside writing too much. However, a TON of stuff happened that I want to touch on briefly, and hopefully when I have time again I’ll elaborate more. Hopefully.

First of all… HANNIBAL WAS CANCELLED, WHAT THE SHIT. I was so, so very upset when I heard this, but if things go well, NBC may have actually done Hannibal a favor. They cancelled it only 3 episodes into the season on June 22. Cast contracts expire June 30. This gives the show time to get picked up by another host – please Neflix PLEASE – to continue on with more freedom. *fingers crosseddd*

Hannibal 3:03 is, uh, something I will need to do, even in light of this very annoying yet possibly uplifting who knows news.

Kingsmen – Just watched this yesterday so I’m not particularly in a rush, but I loved this movie. I also decided I have a crush on both Taron Egerton and Colin Firth.

Inside Out – Saw this on Friday and omg. adorbz. Go, go see it now.

Secret Friend Project – I’ve also been working on a project with a friend for like, 3 years omg, that I’m super excited about. We’re really hoping to see some progress and as soon as we do, I plan on posting some of my actual artwork.

Some random stuff that happened like, as I wrote this because things never stop happening:

The new Spider-Man has been announced as Tom Holland! Oh and also Miles Morales is the new Spider-Man. Yeah, I read both of these articles at the same time and was mightily confused, as Tom Holland seems to be…very Peter Parkery and not very Miles Moralesy. I’m assuming we’ll be seeing a black/latino/something Miles Morales actor soon which makes me so, SO happy. And also sad because I love Andrew Garfield and I wanted to see him interact with RDJ’s Stark so badly and this is bringing up bitter, bitter thoughts.

James Horner, composer of Titanic, Braveheart, and a thousand other things has sadly died in a plane crash. A huge amount of some of the best music in Hollywood is from this guy. Fortunately, his music will live on.

I also still need to post about 1984, The Wire: season 1, The Wire: season 2, and possibly some life events that happened if I ever get around to it. And I’ll be honest, these kind of posts are basically a cheating way for me to get something up here, while also kind of encouraging me by going “look at all the shit you need to do. LOOK AT IT.” So…whatever works, I suppose.

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This morning I was listening to the radio, and there was a bit: “10 things single guys in their 30’s should stop doing.”

It was not good advice: don’t wear graphic tees, don’t have a razor scooter, stop playing Dungeons and Dragons.

what

What are they, enemies of joy? Graphic tees are charmingly sexy and have they ever even ridden a razor scooter? Also, there are tons of reasons NOT to stop playing D&D no matter what age you are: it’s enjoyable, it’s a social game where you can make friends, it’s a reason to get together, you get to use your imagination, you get to make inside jokes, you get to experience a different world where YOU’RE the hero – I could go on! I mean, clearly I’m biased because I love D&D but I was very annoyed at the main point of the radio bit: you’re too old do be doing the stuff you like to do. Think about how terrible that advice is. You have to stop doing things you enjoy because… of some reason that other people decided based on nothing.

The problem is, I don’t think people understand what “growing up” means. They think it means “stop doing childish things.” I think of it more as, “Learn how to take care of yourself and others, if they need it.” And if you can take care of yourself by being healthy, supporting yourself, and paying your bills AND take care of other people whether they be your children, a coworker who needs help, or a friend that needs advice, then by all means, ride your razor scooter to Toys R’ Us while eating your ice cream. You deserve it.