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Damn it, I am behind.

In other horrible news, Netflix and Amazon passed on Hannibal. Also, the casts’ contracts have expired. Yeah, things are looking bleak for this show. Bryan Fuller seems to have a never ending supply of optimism though and I will blindly follow him, probably off a cliff. But, for now, let’s talk about the awesomeness of this season. And since I’m so behind, let’s make this a 2-for-1 special.

Hannibal 3:3 “Secondo”

“Nothing happened to me. I happened”

Man, do I love me a good villain line. Like, even Hannibal himself is like “no no no, I’m not a sad antihero. I’m a menace, a god, and I am superior to all of you so I will fuck up all ya’llz lives.” Like, the dude even grew up a CASTLE straight out of a Bram Stoker novel. And there is Will, wandering around the castle, having a nice little picnic there in Lectervania. So…what exactly is he doing there? It seems he’s trying to find a clue to understand the deep, dark workings of Hannibal, and possibly in the same way, on a journey of self discovery. How similar are they, really? Well, quite, as it turns out, because he ends up turning a dead dude into a firefly.

Speaking of, uh, that, I’m not sure what to think about Chiyo. She’s a bit of an enigma – who is she, where did she come from, how does she know Lecter, does she have access to a pizza delivery service or does she have to live off the land,etc. What I do know is thatshe could kill me, if she wanted to, as we saw with Will. But she doesn’t want to kill, and she wants to prove that to Lecter for some reason. Maybe to prove that she isn’t like him at all. And she doesn’t kill for a very long time. That is, of course, until Lecter Jr. comes along and forces her hand, much like Lecter Sr. did with Bedelia and the unfortunate skewered-brained man. She doesn’t want to kill him so bad that she even lets out a clear as day “I’m sorry” before she saves her own life.

Soooo…Will is probably less “quite like Hannibal” and more “IS BECOMING Hannibal.”

Also, I really miss Zeller and Price. plz come back. And also Beverly but we won’t go there. But at least we got.. JACK ATTACK. And by attack I mean meander in slowly as if the world has chewed him up and spit him out. But he has a cool hat and that’s all that matters.

Also, the third episode being titled “Secondo,” and not the second episode, is confusing and unfair to my brain.

Hannibal 3:4 “Apertivo”

FINALLY we see what Jack, Alana, and Chilton else is up, and thankfully, they’re mostly up to not being dead. Except Bella. Bella dead. :(.

“A mutually unspoken pact to ignore the worst in each other to continue to enjoy the best.” Will, get your shit together, this ain’t good for you. Though I have to admit I am mightily fascinated with Will’s and Hannibal’s relationship. It almost seems like an abusive relationship of some sort. I know I’ve been the Alana in situations, where I’m looking at someone and saying “Don’t you see? After everything they’ve done to you?” But at a certain point, it doesn’t matter what I, or Alana, says. Will (along with Abighost) will figure it out on his own and I can only assume it won’t be pretty.

Okay, I hate Chilton but I LOVE Raul Esparza so I am very happy to see he’s back. Sometimes, I just see certain actors and I’m like “You. I like you.” And he was one of them. And when I found out that he was a Broadway actor, it confirmed by belief that he is the shit. But a piece of shit in the show. I mean, copyrighting Hannibal the Cannibal because of course he did.

The scene with Mason and Chilton “showing each other” their disfigurements is pretty horrifying, but I’m glad they did it. Here’s why: I love me some Phantom of the Opera, but in the 2004 movie (that I was obsessed with, mind you) they really should have made his disfigurement more than like, a sunburn. So I’m glad to see a show actually show you what real disfigurement is, and how it can get fixed, sort of, to an certain extent, with graphs and prosthetics, but it takes a lot of time to get there and it’s not a pretty process.

Also, Alana makes me sad. She’s just so different. Obviously, she’s been through a lot, and she seems dead set on revenge more than anything else, even if it means going to Mason Verger of all people.  Seriously, these characters need to get better at finding people to help them. Also, Bryan Fuller has agreed with some fans that he thinks that Alana and Margot should get together. Bryan Fuller does enjoy giving the fans what they want, and the barn scene did seem a little flirtatious, sooooo… we shall see!

Also, Hannibal is getting very cocky and, as a wise Gandalf once said, “Pride will be your downfall.”

Best AV Club comment: “Oh God, he’s sad on a plane, sad on a boat, sad on a train. This is the worst Dr. Seuss I’ve ever seen.”

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