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The toenail being dead is not from white water rafting, but from soccer practice. As my mom told me, ‘Stop doing this dangerous shit!”

Let’s take a stroll into the past, to ~Wednesday~. It was my first official soccer practice of the season and I was PUMPED. Soccer is by far my favorite sport to watch AND play. I’ve played co-ed since I was maybe 10 or 11 up to high school, but after that, I had to take a break because I was no where near good enough for college level, not that my college even had a soccer team (it does, however, have a Harry Potter club.)  But fortunately I have finally found another co-ed adult rec league that I’ve been in for 2 years. The season just started last week and I was so excited to begin playing that the second I got on the field I felt like a dog without a leash. I was defense but I was all up in people’s grills, trying to use fancy footwork to get the ball away from them, hoping to confuse people with this small little ninja chick sprinting up to full grown men-folk and not letting them get away. But there was once instance where it, um, didn’t work the way I had planned.

I inadvertently had my foot between the ball and another player. Said player attempted to kick the ball, and in the process, kicked/dragged his cleat spikes directly onto my big toe. That hurt. When I got home, I was bleeding from under and the sides of the nail, but overall it seemed okay. You know, considering.


White water rafting day! The toe had been fine, except for the fact that it turned completely gray. Oh, you know, that. But it didn’t hurt, I could walk on it, it wasn’t loose. So I’m like “eehhhhh it’s fine.”

I had never been white water rafting. I have, however, been tubing, where you lazily sit in a tube and gently float 3 miles down a river with group of friends, a cooler filled with booze with it’s own inter tube, and all the rafts connected with a rope that had liquid-pouch-bottles filled with “special drink”, hanging on by a caribbeaner so you could slide it back forth. It was truly white trash heaven and I was all about it.

This rafting trip, however, was legit class III – IV rapids with helmets and lifejackets and paddles and ADVENTURE. It was me, Adam and five other friends, plus our guide Cliff, whose faced matched his name. Not that his face looked like a precipice, but he had red hair and a big beard and was kind of husky and I don’t know, he just looked like Cliff.

It was SO MUCH FUN. We careened down the rapids, we got to big “pools” where we could jump into the freezing water and float around, then get heaved back into the raft by our life vests. Adam was allowed to ride the bow of the raft through the rapids, called “Riding the bull” and he fell in, but we got him pretty quickly. Then another girl fell in just because the rapids were crazy. omg it was so fun though.



The first two people on the left are Adam and I. Guess which is which. Also, I’m fairly certain Cliff was a pirate in a past life.

So, back to the toe: if you’ve never gone rafting, basically all of you sit on the edge of the raft, and in the middle there are inflatable footholds that go across the raft. This is where you jam your feet in so you don’t fly out. Unfortunately, I was on the side where I had to jam my grayed-out-toenail under the foothold and it didn’t hurt at the time, but afterwards it was not good.

Squick alert, avoid this paragraph: Yesterday, I called my mom because it had turned even more gray and was oozing stuff and it was generally not good. Also, it hurt like a MOFO. So I took some ibuprofen, cleaned it, put hydrogen peroxide on it, and soaked it and it felt immediately better. She did say I might lose the toenail, but it’s not loose so I think we might be good. This is not unlike the time I was pretending to be a ninja and stubbed my toe on my own shoe, but that time the toenail turned black because of the blood underneath. I didn’t lose it then either. I don’t know, man.

My mom suggested I take over my leftover antibiotics. Why do I have leftover antibiotics? Because when I got tested for mono, it originally said it was negative so they gave me antibiotics that causes a rash in people with mono. Happily, they called me before I took it, but not before I already picked them up. So yay, extra medication. Today it seems to be fine, but I may have to skip soccer to be on the safe side, 🙁 , woe is me, etc.

I mean, worth it, but still.

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