This is a longass post that doesn’t really accomplish much except explaining how absolutely ridiculous May 2015 was. Here’s a preemptive TL;DR: In 23 days I ran a half marathon, got mono, went to NYC, and got engaged.
Part 1: The Run
I’m a runner. Not a good or fast runner by any stretch of the imagination but I run a lot and enjoy it immensely. I was training all winter for my third half marathon in Columbus on May 2nd. I had trained more than I ever had (which probably still wasn’t enough) and had been going faster than I ever had (which still isn’t very fast) for this race. On May 1st, one of my runbuddies and I took a 3 hour road trip to Columbus where we got lost, had my car almost explode on us, went to the runners’ expo to get our packet, tried to “drive the course” and got lost again, checked into the hotel and looked out the window to see tHE CITY WAS ON FIRE, went to dinner, got back to our hotel, spazzed out all night about the run, then went to bed.
We got up at 5:45am to get ready for the run and were basically vomiting nervousness. But we walked to the start line and got settled in pretty easily. Here’s the quick recap: Me and runbuddy ran together at first and were feeling fantastic until about mile 6, then we started feeling more fatigued. She took a walk break and I pushed forward until my knee started hurting around mile 9 (which has never happened before?) but around mile 11 it felt fine again (knee, why you gotta be all spastic) and I pushed through to the end. I didn’t get the time I wanted but I did PR so I can’t be too upset (I guess). Me and runbuddy and our other runbuddy all met up at the finish line with our medals, congratulating each other then going to the post-race party to eat pizza and drink champagne like the classy bitches we are.
Part 2: The Sickness
That night, runbuddy and I had plans to meet up with my sister and her friends for a ballet. Yes, this was a very busy day. I was very tired, my neck was hurting very bad (which I assumed was from my Igor-like running form) and it was kind of hard to breathe. The ballet was beautiful but we left immediately after it was over and I hit the bed the second I got home. The next day, I started getting alternating shivers/hot flashes. Like, it was 80° and we don’t have central air but I was shivering with two blankets on. Then 20 minutes later my body would suddenly realize “Oh, it’s 80° – that’s hot!” so I’d kick them all off again. Repeat hourly. And I STILL couldn’t take a full breath without it hurting. I was starting to become convinced that I had hurt my lungs breathing too hard…or something…and this was my body’s reaction to it? Is that even possible?”
The next day was worse, but the day after that… I woke up at 3am from a chaotic fever dream of races, streamers, ribbons, and what felt like dubstep blaring in every corner of my mind. I got up and sat on the couch, hoping I would fall asleep there, but I was soaked in sweat and chaotic images were still swirling around my head. I sat on that couch from 3am until 7am just…I don’t even know what? Staring off? Watching the clock tick away…sometimes going on tumblr. Around 7am, The Boy came in and he helped me figure out how doctors work since I never go. I called off work and went to an Urgent Care place. And after some probing, questions, and blood tests, it turns out I had (have?) MONONUCLEOSIS. Wtf, I’m 26, I thought only teenagers got that.
Within the next 2 1/2 weeks I had every symptom except the rash (thank God I didn’t get the rash.) I basically didn’t eat the entire time for many reasons: I had a general lack of appetite, then my organs swelled up to the point where I felt full all the time, then I had a nasty taste in my mouth which magically transferred to all the food that I ate, THEN my tonsils swelled so much that swallowing my own spit was like swallowing hellfire. The day I made instant mashed potatoes was like a gift from Jesus. So what I’m saying is the Mono Diet™ is the best diet ever if you don’t mind feeling like Frodo when he’s on the top of Mount Doom and he forgets what joy feels like.
Part 3: The Engagement
The good news is, I lost 12 pounds for my 3 day trip to New York City with the beau! #monobod #workit The even better news was that I felt 95% better the day before we left.
Okay, this post is getting way too long so I’m going to try to condense this, only because I know I will end up rambling more about this trip in other posts. But you need to know that I LOVE New York City. It’s my favorite city, and I want to live on the Upper West Side and be a Broadway star. This is the parallel universe I fantasize about probably daily.
We stayed in a studio apartment in Harlem that some dude rented out which was only 3 blocks away from the subway, so it was perfection. As soon as we arrived in The City that Never Sleeps, I napped. I did still have mono after all. Then I woke up and we went to Time Square, a little bit of Central Park, and then ate NYC pizza the proper foldy way. Then we went back and… I slept more. The next day, we went down to the Empire State building for the view, then down to the WTC memorial for the emotions (seriously though, it’s one of the most moving and solemn experiences I’ve had. I highly recommend it, but be prepared to feel… off, for a bit), to China Town and Little Italy for the confusing old Chinese women speaking to me and scraciatella gelato. Note: I have dark hair and had sunglasses on so I’m wondering if she thought I was Chinese? She just walked up, said something, and I mumbled “Oh, I don’t speak…uh…” awkwardly not wanting to assume Chinese and be offensive. But it was fine because she just wandered off. Then we wandered back to the hotel, got ourselves looking fly as fuck for our night of sushi and Aladdin on Broadway. We were just about to head out the door when he stopped, turned around, got on one knee, and proposed. !!!!!!!. It was perfectly intimate and wonderful and I said yes immediately. Then we went out on the town as fiances.
The next day, we explored what felt like the entirety of Central Park. At around 2pm we headed home. And as we emerged from the frantic, chaotic spectacle of the city, we eventually found ourselves driving through the woods of Pennsylvania. I felt like the craziness of the month was finally winding down, and I could finally enjoy my life as myself: a happy, healthy, fiance.